Anyone who had an art...

Bananas are funny, aren't they?

Well, no. I actually don't mean they're funny in the 'laughing because they're amusing in a comedy way' way. They're not. Although for many years some people have been stupidly trying to convince us to laugh at them in a comedy way as if they are. But they're not.

And people don't look amusing dressed as bananas; and people don't slide on them in the street and fall over on their arses; and they don't appear in Woody Allen's best films.

No, I mean they're funny in the "Dear God, what IS that??" way.

There's one in our kitchen now, well past it's best, and half-covered in sequins.

Sequins!

Apparently that's called "homework".

I hate Art Students. The other day the elder steppy was explaining that she is doing a piece of art work at college which involves taking a cafetière, and covering half of it with glue and then coating the glue with ground coffee. How cool! What a statement! Something profound about the human condition... Do you see what that's about?

No. Me neither. It's ART. So there.

I may still be feeling a little grumpy today.

Anyway, I tried to help. I suggested she could glue the other half, and cover that in marijuana in its 'grass' form. Or maybe some hemp seeds.

Coffee.

Pot.

Coffee pot.

COFFEE - POT. Do you see?

Apparently that was "Like, STOO-pid. Derr".

I don't get art. Apparently.

And I hate Art Students.

This evening there was a TV programme about teenage pregnancy. One young woman decided - against the clear advice of the doctor, nurse and anaesthetists, to have a caesarean section under anaesthetic, which meant she wasn't awake as the baby was delivered.

The steppy announced, "That's, like, just so, like, weird. They could have, like, swapped her baby for someone else's and she, like, wouldn't have even, like, known"?

Bananas.