It's My(ers-Briggs) Party and I'll Cry If I-(S-F-Js) Want Me To...

This 'first and right' thing actually happens beacause of my personality type.

I am forgetful too. It's not a age thing. I always have been. I have a scatter-brained approach to life.

Both are explained wholly by my personality type which is (in Myers-Briggs terms) E-N-T-P.

That means I am, apparently "energetic, brash, witty and original; wanting to be where the action is but on my terms. I may need to be aware of unintentionally bruising the feelings of others through my love of argument and of having the last word".

In a recent assessment I was described, by a colleague, as "cultivating that somewhat ramshackle persona as a way of disarming people".

Up to that point I hadn't been aware that I had a ramshackle persona.

So what was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Being forgetful. And needing to have the last word on everything in an argumentative kind of way.

It's probably true.

But I am trying really hard to do the self-improvement thing.

/mantra: I recognise that my Myers-Briggs type indicator is an explanation for my behaviour, and not an excuse for it. /exit: mantra. Sigh.

I am trying to moderate what others believe to be my worst personality excesses. Apparently I can do this, "through prioritising time"; "through practising and improving listening skills"; "through realising that competence at absolutely everything is impossible"; "through getting enough rest and exercise"; "through getting in closer touch with feelings and learning to express them"; "through being sensitive to impact on others, holding back from abrasive comments"; amongst other things. The Myers-Briggs people recommend these changes.

Fuckin' ell. That sounds like torture.

They were a US mother and daughter team, were Myers and Briggs.

They claim that - apart from needing the last word (ridiculous) and being abrasive (AS IF!! ) - at my very worst, I may "be argumentative, (nope) succumb to hypochondria, (never) have tantrums, (unknown) feel unloved and unlovable, (preposterous) withdraw from others and neglect self." (poppycock)

Well at least I remember that there's an 'H' in yoghurt you patronising, new-world wankers!!!

You people make me bloody sick.

I won't bother even eating one tomorrow. And then I'll die and you'd be sorry if anybody actually even cared about me, which they don't.